Greetings everyone, it is Weepy Wednesday and today I will just be writing something I thought about. Not exactly a love or loath but I'm sure there will be some of both in it.
Today I was posed with a question, by myself of course. I don't talk to people enough for them to ask valid questions.
What would our lives be like if we were the other gender?
Now this actually comes up a lot in my mind. It's something to think about because our lives may be completely different or almost the same we cannot really tell.
So I tried to think about how much different my life would be if I was a woman. I am pathetic enough to think about what I would look like, or at least what I would style my hair as. I would wear a bit of make up because that seems to be illegal not to do and I would have shoulder length hair in a pony tail. I don't know why, that's just what I would do.
I contemplated on the thought of my personality. Would I be the same insane, cynical and spiteful person I am today? Or would I be a shy, quiet and book reading girl who only has a small circle of equally quiet book reading friends?
I ran through many of my life experiences and tried to change them and alter them along with my gender. But I can't see them being much different no matter who my friends are or what I have under the pants/skirt.
The main quandary I couldn't give even the slightest hypothesis on. Is whether or not I would have the close relationship I do with my father and be best friends with him or if it would be swapped over to my mother. I mean, my personality would be sort of the same but would I just talk to my mother more?
Now I know we are forced to say men and women are equal and your life isn't different no matter you sex. But it is. If you're a woman you have to go through the teenage stage of being leered at by horny teenage fuck-wits and then go through a similar thing in your work years. There are other problems but I don't see the point in listing these obvious things.
I look around my room and finish of my thinking on this by asking the final question.
"How different would my room look?"
This I have no idea on, but I doubt I would have so many DC comic figures all over the place. Or maybe I would? I shall never know.
Life is full of strange questions like these that will never be answered and that is the thing that weirds me out the most. Our one life is not even close to enough to sample all the world has to offer and then there are a billion different alternatives because there are billions of species.
Perhaps we do find all this out one day. We are given wisdom beyond our wildest dreams at death. We know life, death and the universe itself and that truly brings eternal peace.
No one will ever know and live to tell the tale.
- Matt
I don't hate life.
I just hate life that is stupid.
Wednesday 21 April 2010
Tuesday 20 April 2010
It's not my job dumb ass! I'm doing my best!
Hello everyone it's the Tuesday of Trepidation and it's time to get away from the lovie dovie shit and move back onto something I loath!
I think many a time in our lives we have all been asked to do something were are no better than average at doing to help someone else and possibly yourself in the process. Be it physical or mental. From writing an essay to moving furniture around. It has happened and will continue happening for the rest of our work-rest-work-cook-work-marriage-work-children-work more-sorrow-retire-death lives.
Today was one of those days. Well yesterday too.
On Monday I was asked to play piano in a piece so that I could finish off my course work -accompanying piece was required- and help two other girls finish theirs. Now I am usually a singer or a guitarist and I am better at those two than I am at keyboard and piano. In fact, I am probably only average at piano even less maybe. But I agreed because the other two girls were singing already and guitar for some reason wasn't an option.
I had one hour to learn how the song went and play it as best I could. I did this and was corrected a few times by the girls on how they want me to play it. Hey that's fine I'm not perfect and I could use the help. It all ended rather well.
Today, I got into music and sat down. Low and behold later on I over-heard the two girls complaining about how I was playing it too fast and it was off. Then our teacher offers for their to be two recordings. One with me playing piano and one with the helping teacher playing. Already I was very insulted.
As we sat down to practice I was told to play, I started playing and immediately behind me heard a whisper of.
"That's wrong."
I almost slammed a fist through the creaky old piano then and there. I mean how dare they? Why not just tell me I am playing it wrong -which I was certain I wasn't- and help me out?
So the song got recorded and I knew I made a few mistakes but I wasn't going to play it all again because I was slowly slipping into an awful mood. So the class wanted to hear it. It was played and I attempted to faze myself out not really wanting to hear the judgements of all the people who think they know everything about music. Now my mood would not have worsened if not for when I heard the mistakes on the recording I saw one of the singing girls make the most pained face I had ever seen. I also heard a little bit of giggling from one of the yet other judgemental bitches in the class room. Though that may have been paranoia.
After all this, I didn't even get a thank you.
Now my problem with all this is the fact that they are expecting me to be brilliant on an instrument I haven't touched in at least a month or so. I mean what the fuck am I supposed to do with an hour of learning? I can't perfect a song in that amount of time on an instrument I'm good at let alone one I am sub-par at.
I mean if I am going to be picky about it. These girls weren't all that cracking at singing either. The stupid morons couldn't even harmonise. They were signing in the wrong key too. I mean come on, those are the basics and they even had more time to practice than I did since they found out about all this before me. So I would have expected better from them.
Also, I didn't expect people I was on good terms with to be such spiteful backstabbing cows. Now I am not going to say it's all women, no that's wrong. It's not even just women. Men are known to do it and I have probably done the same to someone else. Actually I can guarantee it.
Now it made me think how many times someone in a real job is asked to do something they are barely even deemed good at. How can we expect to be great at everything we choose to do. You don't pick up a guitar and get good.
You always start crap! Then you get better. That's how it works. I had started the piano bad, I have gotten better but I am not that much better. I'm not a child prodigy so don't treat me like I should be an amazing pianist who can play Bach's Prelude 21.
- Matt
I don't hate life.
I just hate life that is stupid.
I think many a time in our lives we have all been asked to do something were are no better than average at doing to help someone else and possibly yourself in the process. Be it physical or mental. From writing an essay to moving furniture around. It has happened and will continue happening for the rest of our work-rest-work-cook-work-marriage-work-children-work more-sorrow-retire-death lives.
Today was one of those days. Well yesterday too.
On Monday I was asked to play piano in a piece so that I could finish off my course work -accompanying piece was required- and help two other girls finish theirs. Now I am usually a singer or a guitarist and I am better at those two than I am at keyboard and piano. In fact, I am probably only average at piano even less maybe. But I agreed because the other two girls were singing already and guitar for some reason wasn't an option.
I had one hour to learn how the song went and play it as best I could. I did this and was corrected a few times by the girls on how they want me to play it. Hey that's fine I'm not perfect and I could use the help. It all ended rather well.
Today, I got into music and sat down. Low and behold later on I over-heard the two girls complaining about how I was playing it too fast and it was off. Then our teacher offers for their to be two recordings. One with me playing piano and one with the helping teacher playing. Already I was very insulted.
As we sat down to practice I was told to play, I started playing and immediately behind me heard a whisper of.
"That's wrong."
I almost slammed a fist through the creaky old piano then and there. I mean how dare they? Why not just tell me I am playing it wrong -which I was certain I wasn't- and help me out?
So the song got recorded and I knew I made a few mistakes but I wasn't going to play it all again because I was slowly slipping into an awful mood. So the class wanted to hear it. It was played and I attempted to faze myself out not really wanting to hear the judgements of all the people who think they know everything about music. Now my mood would not have worsened if not for when I heard the mistakes on the recording I saw one of the singing girls make the most pained face I had ever seen. I also heard a little bit of giggling from one of the yet other judgemental bitches in the class room. Though that may have been paranoia.
After all this, I didn't even get a thank you.
Now my problem with all this is the fact that they are expecting me to be brilliant on an instrument I haven't touched in at least a month or so. I mean what the fuck am I supposed to do with an hour of learning? I can't perfect a song in that amount of time on an instrument I'm good at let alone one I am sub-par at.
I mean if I am going to be picky about it. These girls weren't all that cracking at singing either. The stupid morons couldn't even harmonise. They were signing in the wrong key too. I mean come on, those are the basics and they even had more time to practice than I did since they found out about all this before me. So I would have expected better from them.
Also, I didn't expect people I was on good terms with to be such spiteful backstabbing cows. Now I am not going to say it's all women, no that's wrong. It's not even just women. Men are known to do it and I have probably done the same to someone else. Actually I can guarantee it.
Now it made me think how many times someone in a real job is asked to do something they are barely even deemed good at. How can we expect to be great at everything we choose to do. You don't pick up a guitar and get good.
You always start crap! Then you get better. That's how it works. I had started the piano bad, I have gotten better but I am not that much better. I'm not a child prodigy so don't treat me like I should be an amazing pianist who can play Bach's Prelude 21.
- Matt
I don't hate life.
I just hate life that is stupid.
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