What odd thoughts we have, no?

Hello everyone it is 'F£$*&!% Friday' and what a glorious one at that.


As many people around the country I had a maths exam today. Happily enough I finished 30 minutes early and spent the next 15 minutes checking over my work and the last thinking. What those thoughts were I will share with you today.


Because of a mishap I have been trying desperately not to think about someone and sadly in exams that's all I've been able to think about other than the work at hand. So today I tried a new tactic and thought of a song. I imagined the band playing that song with their trumpets and what I presume would be a banjo if I hear it properly. Though even this failed when I began imagining that person dancing to the song in an admittedly odd fashion.


I attempted to counter this by filling the area they were dancing in with many other people and only their forehead was in view. Eventually this began to work as I started to imagine that bloke in the white suit doing disco dancing and all the fancy moves while everyone watched. I don't know the name of the particular move.


I continued to think about this and then thought about Ross Noble's joke about the only reason people made the circle was began the disco ball was actually a very large sparkly poo and they didn't want it to land on them. Which obviously is an undesirable thing to happen. And the only reason the man was still dancing was because he wanted to see how long he could dance underneath it without it falling.


But that's just one train of thought, a lot of the time I will think about anything. For example I once wondered that if the guy to the right of me's head exploded if I would have to retake the exam.


A common thought I have every exam is I begin to imagine what it would be like to suddenly grow wings. How everyone would be in shock and awe as my back burst with bones and feathers. Blood leaking from my shirt as I writhed in pain, then flew off laughing to myself.


Or that no one would give a shit and just keep on working until the end of the exam when everyone would crowed around and ask why I have wings.


Although I would always attempt to sleep when I am done with the exam; I would never be tired enough and my brain would run whiled. Constantly coming up with strange ideas and imaginings  that often make me wonder if I am still sane or not. Though that really doesn't have to be debated these days, but that is for another day.


- Matt
I don't hate life.
I just hate life that is stupid.

Holy crap this is a post? Where did these things go?

Greetings my loyal readers, you all look well. Have you been working out? Oh that new hair looks so dashing on you.


Now that the pleasantries of being reunited are out of the way, let's get on with things.


Today is as always a Weepy Wednesday. The weather is pleasant and my new shirt is comfortable and I am off school until Monday. Even though I will only have to go in for three lessons due to the nature of exams. So it isn't all that weepy.


Everyday when I walked to school, I stop at my old primary school and await the people I walk with. I simply stand at the gate leaning against one of the walls. Nothing special. 


Every morning I will see the same parents drop of the same students early so they can go to what is called 'Kids Club' to await the school to open its doors. Now none of this is exactly special but I will get to the point. Now among these students is one young boy probably in his last or second to last year of primary school. Each time I see him, he looks at me and I look back at him. None of this was aggressive or bemusement, we merely acknowledged each others existence.


Now one morning I decided to mix it up a bit. I smiled at the lad, not in any sort of weird way. I just felt like saying 'good morning' without saying the words. The surprising thing was that the boy did the same; he smiled back at me. From then on every morning the boy has smiled at me before I have even really woken up to do the same.


The point of all this is that there is still hope in the younger generation. As you may all know more often than not people that are younger than you -no matter your age- aren't exactly the easiest to get on with. Especially the newest generation of kids. The new 12-14 bracket has become a large group of disrespectful morons that think they own the world. Now I couldn't give a shit what they think because it's always funny to see people like that have their egos crushed when they realize the Earth revolves around the sun and not them.


Anyway, yes there is still hope. The youngest of this generation are still to some extent respectful of their elders and know their place. The only thing is we have to encourage this behaviour. Reward a child for being polite and chastise them for being rude. Also the big kicker is this: don't give them everything they ask for.


Parents seem to think that they have to be one extreme or the other. Just go with something and give them 1 out of every 3 things they ask for. And get them the second most expensive. Then work out an actual way to just say "no" every now and then.


- Matt
I don't hate life.
I just hate life that is stupid.

It's hot! This is England not Spain!

Hello my fine feathered readers, it's the Saturday of Solipsism and a beautiful Saturday of Solipsism at that.

Now England has been going through what I consider awful weather. Now most would consider it sticking around 26 degrees fantastic weather. Not me.

I loath the heat, I'm not a sadist and sit in the freezing cold, no. It's more that I hate forced heat. When I go outside and instantly start sweating and feel that a T-shirt and a pair of jeans is far too much clothing. I don't like it, I mean who would really?

I can understand the appeal of a nice sunny day and sitting on a field with your friends; chatting about all the strange things you like to talk about. That sounds lovely, but I don't need to be drenched in sweat for that, there can be clouds in the sky for a day like that to occur.

Now back on to forced heat. I like the cold for the main reason:

You can always put on more clothes, if you go outside naked people will through rubbish at you. So I like the cold for the opportunity to get warm. But when I am forced to be hot and cannot do otherwise I begin to get a little peeved. 

I like coming home from the chilly walk home from school -that wasn't so bad because I had my jacket on to keep me warm- and quickly grabbing a hot chocolate to warm-up even more. Then diving back into the cold to walk the dogs.

I do not like:

Coming home drenched in sweat from a hot walk home from school -which was made worse because not can I not take my shirt off when walking home I would not have the self confidence to do so anyway- and being hit by a wave of heat from a house that has been roasting up like an oven for me all day. Then soaking my dry throat in juice only for it to become dry again in the next few minutes. Then having to go back outside -after changing into clothes that will not really give me any benefit against the heat- back into the heat  to walk the dogs.

But I do admit that I do enjoy feeling cold too. The sensation it gives me as a cold breeze blows past my ears which are getting redder from the cold. The strange tingle on cheeks every time I breath. Also, who doesn't love seeing their misty breath float in front of their eyes?

Obviously I know I'm in the minority when I say I want it to rain all year round, but hey. Something about it appeals me. Not in a depressing manor, rain just looks nice.

- Matt

I don't hate the heat.

I just hate the extreme heat.

Please stop you sound like the Borg!

Hello everyone it's the Tuesday of Turpitude as usual and I have something to talk about as usual.


Something strange I have noticed in my classes throughout the years. Mostly science class.


As you all know in classes we are taught to memories things and then be able to spiel them all off during an exam with a reasonable understanding of what they mean. This is very common of course and it is the best way to learn things through repetition.


Though it is terrifying to see this kind of thing in action. Today in science class was yet another example of this indoctrination. Our teacher  was giving us a run through of the chemistry module and was asking the class questions.


She would ask a simple question or to explain something such as:
Explain the affects of a catalyst on a reaction...


Then almost half of the class would reply in a monotone drone:
It lowers the activation energy thus more particles have the activation energy therefore there are more successful collisions in a given time.


Now hearing a large group of the class say this in the same terrifying tone is, well, terrifying. From then on I just had pictures of everyone with pale skin and machinery sticking out of them saying:
"Resistance is futile, you will be assimilated."


Now I have little idea on whether this is a bad thing or a good thing but it still scares the crap out of me that even though the human mind is so powerful. It can be taught to spiel stuff off like a computer. Are we all truly that impressionable at our teenage years that we can be moulded and morphed by any adult into what can be described as an indoctrinated slave?


Now I am not saying adults are evil before someone sends me an angry email. I am saying that it is just scary how impressionable the mind is.


How can we call ourselves superior?


- Matt
I don't hate life.
I just hate life that is stupid.

I'll just read along because you aren't a psycho

Well hello everyone, isn't this just a lovely Lazy Sunday? For me it is. By most people's standards the weather is abysmal and moody. While to me the weather is perfect. Not because I am morbid and love grey skies and rain. I honestly just prefer grey skies and rain, for some reason it is nicer to me than the blazing heat and blinding light of a sunny day.


As I rode home on the bus this morning I once again observed the world passing by for inspiration for a blog post. Now the first thing I want to talk about is this:


I got on the bus and at the same time two others did, one of them was a woman in her 20s who was in my opinion rather attractive. Now I sat down first and even though there was probably over 13 seats on the bottom floor alone the woman chose to sit behind me. Now I have no delusion that she was into me or anything. Mostly because she waited at the stop with her partner. But I did however feel extremely complimented.


Someone sitting behind me on a bus says these two things:
A) I don't smell bad.
B) I don't look like a psycho killer.


Which are things I love having confirmed. Because quite frankly if you like being either or both of those things then you have a problem on your smelly homicidal hands.


To keep myself from going insane on the bus I listened to my music and read my favourite monthly magazine. While I was reading the magazine out of the corner of my eye I could see the woman sat behind me was looking in the magazine's direction. Which I thought was awesome.
A) Because it confirms woman like nerdy things.
B) The woman didn't feel threatened by me.
Now I would not have believed she was really reading my magazine until she got off and the next stop another reasonably attractive woman around the same age got on. Once again they sat behind me. Once again out of the corner of my eye I could see them looking at the magazine.


Now that either means my thumbs are amazingly interesting or that woman can be nerdy and be attractive. Though both of those things have already been confirmed.


I bow down to you nerdy girls, you are all beautiful. As you play video games and watch anime. What is more beautiful than that?


- Matt.
It's Sunday piss of I'm sleeping.

Communism, there's some logic to it.

Olah everyone. It's what I call Friday of Fallacy and the title may have put you off if you are American, or if you know anything about politics.


Now I will admit I know next to nothing about politics but I do know the odd tid-bit. Now obviously I should explain the title. Communism, the basic principle is that everyone is paid the same wage no matter what job they do. Now this is obviously impossible in practice because there would be no ambition, there would just be ten million Spank Monocles workers all earning the same wage. But there is logic to this idea.


Again I will state I know very little about politics and even less about communist politics, this small bit of info is all I know about communism other than the fact that if you say that word in America, all heads in a 15ft radius will explode in fear.


Now back to my point. Throughout England and even the world, we see people being paid thousands of pounds for doing very very little. A lot of these people have earned their money and full deserve their right to sit back and enjoy it, but most of the economic sponges that plague the world are nothing more than ... economic sponges that plague the world.


I'll start with the obvious one. Footballers; I know not what the story is over in the USA (Even though you're not playing football, you're playing rugby with pads on you cowards) but over here footballers are paid incredible amounts just to kick a lump of leather around once every week or two.


We have players getting paid millions for what they do and what they do is fuck all. A lot of the players; with the money they earn from a match could put that money in a high interest account and live off the interest for the rest of their gold plated toilet lives. What kind of justice is that?


There are two problems I have with this:
A) Rugby players put a lot more effort into their sport and get paid poorly.
B) Every other job on the planet requires more overall excursion than being a footballer.
So why do they get paid so damn much?


I asked an actual football fan this question was essentially told this.
"Because it's such a popular sport and their is such a huge gross income from tickets and merchandise, they need to get paid this amount of money."
Which I understood until they didn't truly give me a reason the football players were getting so much. Yes I understand it's a popular sport, I love to play but I think anyone who watches needs to find something else to do on an evening. But why do the players have to get paid so much? There are so many better uses for the money.


If we took just around 50% of the money that goes into paying the players all over England, we make huge headway in so many scientific endeavours. We could put more money into solar, wind and tidal power. We could put more money into cancer research.  We could put more public transport on the road. We could fund better education. We could support our country so much better.


It is ludicrous that these people should be able to soak up so much money they don't even need, while people like my father work their backs to the braking to support their family. Now I am not saying that everyone should get the same amount of pay because again that means ambition fails. But what I am saying is that all countries should seriously rethink their payment methods.


Now I know full well I will have pissed off a lot of people who like football, but what do you have to get mad over? I'm not saying it's a bad game. I'm not saying that the game should cease. I'm not even saying you should stop watching it. I am saying that football players shouldn't be paid as much as they do for doing practically nothing.


So anyone out their that loves football and thinks it is fine that footballers get paid millions of pounds a day for doing fuck all. Take a look at your pay check and compare it to a football players. Think of how much effort goes into your job then compare it to a football players. Then you might see it differently.


- Matt
I don't hate life.
I just hate life that is stupid.

Revenge is one thing but that's a permanent scar right there.

Hello everyone, as you know it is The Melancholy known as Monday. Though if you're in England it's made better by not having to work or go to school today.


As I was perusing my facebook wall and glossing over the hilarious groups my friends joined because they think it makes a difference or it will make them cooler. I found one that even I was curious about. So in a moment of pure weakness I clicked on it. Though I did not join it.


It was a group called 10 Most irritating things women do during sex. Now I was curious because I didn't understand why a man would complain about getting sex from the one who controls such activities in relationships. Which I am not complaining about, keep it up ladies. Keep us on our toes!


Now this is not the source of my rant today, oh no. In yet another moment of weakness because I was unable to see these actual 10 things, I decided to have a look at the groups wall. Here is where I found an interesting page. Now some of you may know of this page. It is a page dedicated to a young girl named Lizzy. Who -safe to say- slept around and the lad who thought they were in a real relationship got very upset about this.


Now we all hear all over the internet about young men cheating on girls because girls tend to post this stuff on the internet and beg for comfort from their friends. Which is fair enough. Men don't do it because they fear it makes them vulnerable or less of a man. Which again is fair enough, most men just have one other man they can talk to about things like this.


When I say dedicated it brings up images of love and homage. But this page was far from that, we all know when some girls are heart broken they do make blog post, facebook comments, myspace bulletins or what have you about how much their ex is a dick head and deserves to be castrated with no pain killers.


On one last note before I tell you what was actually on the page, I will say I was also surprised to see a man do this. Not because it's girly, merely because it just doesn't happen often. Again because men don't like to be seen vulnerable. I am neither pleased nor saddened by the fact this guy made this page. But what he put on the page is not only different to the norm but very cruel.


Pornography! Over the years or maybe year of this couples relationships. This girl had sent the young man many a photo of herself without tops on and/or in provocative posses. (I placed in the and/or because I am not sure. It requires linking to this page to gain access to other pictures other than the first censored 2) And not only pictures. Oh no, from what the guy has posted on the page. There is also a video they made together or she made it on her own. (Again it required a linking count I did not posses)


Now I am all for revenge or making someone feel bad for hurting me. But there is a line not to be crossed in these sort of things. This is an incredibly cruel thing to do. This girls social life could very well be over, all her friends will know she did this and have a lot less respect for her. Every guy in her school will now be actively seeking her 'attention' possibly in a dangerous manner too. This girl from what the guy posted. Is humiliated and very distressed about this. What girl wouldn't be? She has become an infamous porn star.


Now I know you're all thinking.
"Matt you hunky word master! She cheated on this guy, she deserves what she gets."
Yes and no. If someone cheats and pays the price of loosing the relationship. That can be painful enough. Also then having to go through the horrible stares and hateful comments is soul braking. Loosing your reputation further is awful no matter what year of highschool you're in.


Sorry I'm letting to much slip about myself here aren't I? Moving on!


But having all your friends and possibly family and thousands of people country wide seeing such dirty pictures of you is traumatizing. Also there is a video that this girl has to live with being on the internet. This has serious implications.


Not only is it detrimental to her social life. But also to her future. These pictures are very easily spread further across the internet and it wouldn't be hard for the manager of a workplace to see these pictures and refuse to give her a job. It sounds impossible but it could happen.


As I said. There is a line to be crossed and it was bounded on the day that guy made the website. Many of us have accumulated pictures like the ones this lad had of this girl. But upon the collapse of the relationship they should have been deleted and forever forgotten. Not put on a website for all of facebook to view.


Now if any of you know of the website I am speaking of then make sure you post on their wall what sick bastards they are for viewing the pictures and what an ass hole the guy is for doing that. If you know the guy personally, give him a good punch straight in the crotch and say it's from every girl on the planet with an added signature from me too.


A message to you all.
If you are in possession of pictures like this and plan to or already have used them as revenge. Think about what you have or are going to do. Stop it, get rid of them. It just isn't worth it. Not only will her social life be ruined, but no one is going to think highly of you after you do this. Revenge is painful for the receiver, not a killer. If you really need to serve the fine dish of pay back. Find another way.


- Matt
I don't hate life.
I just hate life that is stupid.