It's on my head! How could you not notice? .... You have no idea how vacant I am do you?

First off on this 'Weepy Wednesday' you might have noticed I no longer post daily. Why? Because the world sadly just doesn't present its stupidity in obvious manners which is also the point of my post today. Sort of.


As I was walking the dogs today I noticed something new. It was the same route I always take but with a slight variation that occurs probably 4 times a week sometimes more.


Now as I walked past the power station I noticed a sign on the large metal gates. What the sign said was not important but the fact that I have lived in this area for around 13 years and seen this power station gate well over a thousand times and I had yet to notice the rusting at the bottom sign with my towns name on it shocked me. Almost.


When I saw this sign I instantly said to myself.
"Well that's new ... wait, no it's not."
And then thought to myself how often men don't notice things.


Throughout my life I have been given many examples that my fellow rib givers don't tend to see what is in front of their eyes. Simple things like a class room being painted or a girl getting a hair cut. To really big things like their partner owning a brand new car or their couch being missing.


Now when I thought about it I realised this is pretty common knowledge. Most men seem to acknowledge the fact that they are blind to everything but:
A) Breasts and bottoms.
B) Money.
C) Their hobby of choice.
D) Food.
E) Good manly films.


Now note that I said most men seem to realise this. Not women. No I have learned through observation and experience that women do not know men are blind to what I listed. They expect us to see the minute of the world and comment on this.


Here's a prime example of how a situation where a man is blind.
Girlfriend walks into room. "Hey baby!"
"Hi, how are you."
"I'm fine."
"Good.
"..." Stern look.
"Something wrong?"
"You can't see it?"
"See what?"
"I can't believe you can't see it."
"See what?!"
"My hair!" Point to hair as if he doesn't know where it is.
"What about it?"
"It's been dyed."
"Oh." Man finally notices that the woman's hair is red rather than blonde. "I'm sorry."


Now I would be inclined to sympathise with women on this issue but after so many years they might learn that men are blind to those magic 5 things.


Yes men could be a little more observant especially with things like a change in hair style or colour. That doesn't mean we should notice when women get tiny tiny studs in their ears that are partially covered by hair and not even shiny.


To the women of planet earth. You all need to learn of man's ability to be absolutely vacant. You look at us and see a caring loving partner that will notice and compliment your new dress. No. That is not how it works. In reality we are essentially a box with a lump of grey matter with the 5 things written on it. I shall remind you of those 5 things.

A) Breasts and bottoms.

B) Money.
C) Their hobby of choice.

D) Food.

E) Good manly films.

Simply put. If you come home with money in between your melons, a good film in between your ass cheeks and a pizza balanced on your new hairdoo we are going to notice.
Walk into the room wearing your new red dress.... okay we will notice that because we'll know you expect us to get off our asses and go dancing. (Which isn't bad guys, don't knock it till you tried it.)
Come home with your hair sightly adjusted and a little shorter we aren't going to notice. It just isn't going to happen.


- Matt.
I don't hate women.
I just hate what they expect from me.


P.S If you didn't get the joke in the 4th paragraph you need to read a little more about religion.